About Antiquities of Magick

Antiquities of Magick Story

I started working on this deck when I was in a really happy place. My life felt good, and I had everything I thought I ever wanted. The download for this deck came instantly. It was super clear to me what I was going to create.

I believe that when the Universe offers ideas or clues to your path and you choose to accept it, the Universe will show you the way, and it did. Ideas and inspiration kept flooding to me, and I followed the little breadcrumbs that were being laid out. I was blissfully enjoying learning and creating the symbols. Everything about this deck felt light and cheerful.

Then life took an unexpected turn, and my long-term relationship fell apart. I ended up separated and without my art studio. I had to let go of my home, my new baby kittens, and my partner. My heart was devastated.

When I am devastated, I cannot create. Inspiration does not flow easily to me. I do not relate to the martyr Artist at all. I feel very cut off from who I am. Without my creativity flowing, I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to finish this project, and the Universe would take the idea and give it to someone else who could. I was scared.

When life is going great, I trust the signs, and I believe the symbols and messages I receive. But, when life gets tough for me, I find myself reaching out and begging the Universe to send me signs, symbols, and God Shots. Some clarity, reasoning, something to hang on to, to give me hope. I find myself pleading for reassurance to know I have not been forgotten. The problem is when I am begging for messages, that means my faith is also wavering. So, when I do get the signs from the Universe, I don’t always see them, fully trust them, my intuition, or my interpretation of their meaning. The messages don’t serve me as well as they could, and I feel very lost.

A few months later, when joy started returning to my life in a more obviously felt way. My sense of trust in the Universe and its messages followed in sync. I started back on this project. Ideas were flowing to me. Once again, I was pouring my bliss into my art and onto the paper. I was feeling good again. I decided to venture out of the house for the first time in months to do something different and meet some new friends. That afternoon I was hit by a car while riding my motorcycle and thrown across the road. (I will spare you the details). This accident woke up pre-existing injuries that just healed after a long road of recovery from a previous car accident and created new injuries. I found myself back in bed, terribly afraid, feeling alone, and walking with a cane for the second time in my life. I was profoundly struggling to live in trust with my intuition and the Universe. I did not have any faith left. I was angry and sad. I couldn’t understand why a traumatic car accident took me off my feet for the second time in my life. I had made peace when this happened when I was creating the Naked Heart Tarot. I still sincerely believe that deck could not have been created any other way. But another accident, after the year I’d already had, I didn’t get it.

I felt forgotten by the Universe, and I pleaded for some understanding. I didn’t feel like I was getting any messages of significance, which made me feel even more alone. I felt like my relationship with the Universe was broken. Until one night, I was standing outside lost in thought, and sadness and an Owl flew over my head. At that moment, my heart filled with love and joy. I had a deepened realization that the Universe IS always talking to us. The language it speaks is old, and it is filled with wisdom. I knew I was going to be okay. Even if that feeling didn’t last, it lifted me.

It was at this moment that I realized I wished I could trust myself and the messages of the Universe with unwavering faith and knowledge; when things are good and when they are rough. I knew this was a relationship that needed some love and tending to.

Learning the language of the Universe may take a lifetime(s), but I vow to nurture this relationship, to trust its teachings, and to teach what I know. I believe that when we live in alignment and trust with our intuition, we open our spirit to live in inspiration, purpose, connection, and flow with all things. I truly do believe we hold the key to the secrets of our hearts and our lives. When we live in intention and clarity and are a vibrational match to what we seek, that's when we see magick in the making and manifestation. Even when things feel scary and hard, the Universe is always supporting us; we just have to know what to look for.

I hope this deck brings your life even more depth, meaning, and trust in your path. Especially when things feel hard, I hope you never feel alone!

Love Jillian

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